Dad First - After the Family (June 25,1921 - June 23, 2004)

In 1945, when he was 75 years old, my grandfather William Harcreator Nelson died from a stroke. His grandkids called him B-daddy. At that time my dad was a fighting man in the US Navy in the Pacific Fleet. He received notification of his father’s death too late to join his family as they mourned. He regretted that.
Knowing that fact about my dad makes me want to tell you a few stories about him. I listed characteristics that he possessed and thought of stories for each. But at the top of the list was modesty – so I know he would not be pleased if I told you 10-12 stories . . . so I picked three-ish.
First – his sense of duty
Dad knew the duties of a man, a husband, a friend and a father. He carried them out. For example he knew that every gentleman carries a clean handkerchief. And he always did.
His sense of duty led him to enlist in the US Navy to fight WWII. To get into the Navy one had to demonstrate the ability to swim. . . . My dad could not swim, but he felt compelled to serve. So, he got a buddy to swim for him! This came back to haunt him.
For, you see, the first ship on which he served, the USS Strong, was torpedoed and sank in about 15 minutes. When he was rescued from the water, he was wearing three life vests. He and the other survivors drifted in enemy waters a while before being rescued. All three of his children can swim .
Frugal
Terry, the baby of our family (or prince as he says it), says my dad wrote the book on frugal. His management of automobiles shows that. For the first 15-20 years of their married life my parents had only one car. Every day we all took dad to work and picked him up at the end of the day. When we finally got a second car, it was a hand-me-down from my 80 year old grandmother.
We were taught to care for our cars from an early age. Well, Terry and I were. “Princess Jan” did not attend these lessons. We washed and waxed our own cars, changed the oil and filters, replaced worn out batteries, generators, water pumps, fuel pumps, shock absorbers, headlights, on and on . . .
When I was a freshman in college, I had to borrow my sister’ car. (The “princess” got when it was BRAND NEW!) Since he had bought her a car, I mistakenly thought I was due one. I pestered him for months. He rarely wrote letters, so I was pleased to find a letter from him in my mailbox at Baylor. I the envelope I found a clipping from the paper. The article addressed the cost of raising a child. Considering the stay-at-home mom’s lost income and the expenses, the total estimate was $650,000. Across the bottom of the clipping my dad had written, “ Go pick out a Rolls-Royce (which cost about $100,000 back then), in fact get six and deduct it from the total you owe us.” That shut me up.
That Spring we went to the new Japanese car company in the US – Datsun (Nissan to you) and bouth a B-110. (The car whose battery was bigger than the motor.) We paid $1250 – which was added to the $650,000 tab.
Family
OK, boys. Remember what I gave you? (Each received one of his granddaddy’s handkerchiefs) Now’s the time to get them out.
This last story involves two heroes in this family – Both doing what was right for the family.
Dad was noticed by the upper management of Exxon, so they offered him chances at the “fast track” – to climb the corporate ladder, skipping steps. They took him to Houston (the next phase in his career) to shoe him around. They did this as least three times that I remember. Each time he rejected the offer. He refused because he felt it was not the best place to raise his children. He would stay in Midland. Of course, such refusals always cost. My dad’s boss voiced his displeasure and warned that dad would suffer.
Another hero in our family, our Uncle Charlie East went into the boss to explain my dad’s values and reasoning. Legend has it that Uncle Charlie’s kind words cost him advancement as well.
These men understood family and that a job was a job. It was necessary to support the family. There was no idea that career required the family to sacrifice.
Humor – OK there are 4 stories, but I cannot stop here.
My dad offered his “fortune” to any of his children who would name their child Hargrove as the first name and call that child by that name. (My wife Melinda and I tried the “William” for our first son, but that was not good enough.) You may have noticed that my niece is about to add another child to the family. She and her husband will not tell anyone the names they have selected. I am suspicious.
So, I must declare that the “Hargrove name thing” has expired.

Three stories (or four) don’t do it. 100 stories wouldn’t do it. God’s creative gift of stories and language He gave us to explore Him. My dad’s exploration of God led Him to stake his claim to eternity on faith that Jesus Christ was exactly who He said He was: God on Earth as a Son serving the Father. The certainty of that is what my dad lived. So we, his family follow him to the Heavenly Father.