Be anxious for nothing - an invincible promise

Cancer

The word was expected. There was no warning or symptom, only a routine test for men of my age. The steps, - deliberate steps that brought me to this point were well traveled by many men before me. I am grateful to those men. The medical approach has such a routine that one feels that the disease must be routine. However, the numbers belie the routine. For the path of this arduous trail is through times of suffering and often ends in death despite every effort.

Realization that next Christmas might become a goal for survival, rather than a sacred holiday with family does change something deep inside. Though adolescent immortality has long been vanquished, this novel reality has a distinct taste. Thoughts of “lasts” soak the mind. The last lunar eclipse, the last Passover, the last snow fall, the last thunderstorm and the last sunrise become real thoughts. Everyday risks to life such as the morning commute have never taken on such a flavor. I may die soon.

Strangely, . . . there is no sorrow or fear. The words to the Philippians, “Be anxious for nothing,” metamorphosize into a discovery of peace. There is no conjuring here, no mental exercise, no thought process, no forced act of obedience - only calm and discovery that panic and anxiety are missing. Where are those emotions? Is a man not required to feel the grip of fear when faced with a life-threatening disease?

It is no command “Be anxious for nothing.” At least, not yet. It is a fulfilled promise. The presence of the living God envelops my mind and heart with a certainty that I do indeed have a name in the Heavenlies. That the Creator knows which minute fiber of DNA was the first to go awry. He is not overtaken by surprise. He is ready to take the next step in the journey He promised. He has the resources in place. I am not in charge of making my future, He is. - - -

"He is" – He told Moses this is His name – YHWH. The same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Such a gift He gives us – Himself, His presence, His personality. He is not hidden. He is not reserved. He shows His emotion. He demonstrates His heart. It is His story we live. He writes another line with our lives. He once put on a suit of flesh to show us exactly who "He is." We did not like Him as Y’shua, because we refused to see the truth. He did not fit the image that we shamefully built. Yet, He never stops offering Himself to us and for us. He knows what He put within us that yearns. He does not hide, but rather stalks our hearts.

So, as I have tritely said for years, “If God has something He wishes me to do, I am invincible. If He does not, then why do I want to be here anyway?” To die is gain. His life in me is all there is. Why else does my body crave oxygen if it is not to utter His name? The reality that my existence is His handiwork bathes my soul. What have I to fear?